I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
