The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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