sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
