I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
