3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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