When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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