I think I am morally bankrupt
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just found a bag of teeth...
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
