i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
