hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
