i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
