Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
