He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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