you would pick up someone in the library
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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