Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
