i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
