I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
