Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
