u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
