My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
