Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
