it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
