the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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