it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
