The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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