our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
