You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
