Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
