I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Do you have feelings for this penis?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
