Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
