Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
