sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
