i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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