Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
