so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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