Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
