I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
