i already hear my dad disowning me
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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