Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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