umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
