ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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