I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
