Buhtt sex?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
