I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
