Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
