I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
