i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just gift wrapped bread.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
