Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
