so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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