Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
My vagina is very pro this idea
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