Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
