You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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