Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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