Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
