so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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