U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
its liver damage thursday
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