Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
