; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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