Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
