Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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