I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize