You work out of a Hotel?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
