we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
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