Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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