I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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