My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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